


Respite (2010)

by JennyB



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Community: springkink, Dark, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-20
Updated: 2010-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-06 21:59:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakkai's had enough of Sanzo's surly attitude and decides to confront him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Respite (2010)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LJ community springkink. Prompt: Saiyuki, Sanzo/Hakkai: Angst on a rainy day, impatience, argument culminating in violence, unexpected arousal - You better let somebody love you, before it's too late.

Sanzo cursed silently to himself as he stared out the window into the street below. The rain was coming down in driving sheets against the glass, and distorting his view of the buildings on the opposite side. And with the approaching dusk, a haunting mist had risen up from the ground to further obscure his view. It had been coming down like this for three days now, and as a flash of lightning split the sky and the thunder rolled in the distance, he knew it wouldn't be clear by morning. "Shit," he muttered aloud. He knew that Hakkai would never allow Hakuryu to be out in that sort of weather, so that meant they would be stuck there for another day. At least. And that thought did nothing to improve his disposition.

Since their arrival at the inn, Sanzo had essentially sequestered himself in his room and had steadfastly ignored the rest of the ikkou's attempts at conversation. Rather, he had pointedly ignored Hakkai whenever the healer would attempt to bring him anything besides beer and cigarettes, and he'd shouted at Goku that he'd shoot him dead if he dared disturb him again with his idiotic questions. For once, he had to admit that the kappa was the smart one in the group - the hanyou had had the good sense to stay the hell away from him. Uncurling himself from his perch at the window, he shifted his gaze over to the small table by the bed - and to the stupid monkey with a death wish who stood beside it. On it, Goku had set a tray containing two beers, a bowl of ramen (with the obligatory side packets of mayonnaise), a dish containing three umeboshi drizzled with honey, and lovingly placed in the centre, on a paper napkin, was a single meat bun. Obviously, the teen had wheedled Hakkai into letting him help; there was no way that the healer would have willingly pandered to Sanzo's unusual - and somewhat unhealthy - eating habits to that extent.

"See, Sanzo?" the boy said. "It's all your favourites - well, except the meat bun, but I know you like those! I just thought that maybe if you had something you really, _really_ liked, you'd eat something." His smile faltered a little. "You...don't look so good," he said seriously. "I talked to Hakkai, and he promised me you weren't sick, so I figured that being stuck here was getting you down. A good dinner always cheers me up, so this should help some. So come on! Come see it!" There was a note of pride in the brunette's voice - he was obviously quite pleased with how everything looked. His eyes brightened and his smile widened when the blonde actually came over to where he stood, though the expression quickly faded when the priest simply grabbed the two cans of beer and returned to his place at the window.

"Get rid of it; I don't want that shit," Sanzo muttered lowly as he opened the first can and took a long pull from it. He picked up his package of Marlboros and went to shake one out, only to crumple it in his fist a moment later and let it fall to the floor. "Tch. And tell Hakkai I'm out of cigarettes."

"B-but Sanzo, it's all good - me and Hakkai put it together just now! I promise! And I'm really worried about you! We all are! I mean, you haven't eaten in three days, and you're just locked away in here, drinking and smoking. It's not good for you. I just wanted to help, and I thought -"

"No, you didn't," Sanzo interrupted hotly, obviously annoyed. "I told you before that I didn't want to deal with your whiny, pain in the ass questions, and yet, like some sort of stupid monkey, here you are again, pissing me off. I told you, I don't want it, and I sure as shit don't want you hanging around and running non-stop at the mouth. Now get it the hell out of here before put a bullet in you and take you back to Mount Gogyo and leave you there."

Golden eyes went wide and round at that, and a look of abject horror settled on the younger male's face. "S-Sanzo!" The teen felt as though he'd just been punched in the gut, and whether or not the blonde had meant what he'd said, the words stung nonetheless. Goku's mouth worked silently for a few moments, and then, unable to think of _anything_ , he murmured a very broken, "I-I'm sorry..."

Sanzo felt, more than saw, the deep hurt his words had caused, and though it bothered his conscience somewhat, he made no effort to apologize. After all, he had warned them all to stay away from him - it wasn't his fault if they were too stupid or stubborn to heed his words. Instead, his expression remained indifferent as he finished his beer and set the empty can on the floor next to the Marlboro package. "You should be. Now get lost."

Clenching his jaw tightly, Goku nodded stiffly, and then grabbed the still-laden tray before hurriedly slipping back out the door. As it silently clicked shut behind him, Goku felt a humiliating burning in the corners of his eyes, and he quickly swiped at them with the back of a hand before heading into the main room of their suite. "He didn't want it," Goku announced to Hakkai and Gojyo as he passed them on his way to the kitchen, and he gave what he hoped looked like a blasé shrug. "Guess that means I get a snack later, ne?" he added in an attempt to joke, but his words came out sounding flat.

Hakkai set his book down and glanced over at Gojyo, who was watching some sort of horror movie on the television, and then they both shifted their attention to the teen. "I see," the brunette said quietly as he got to his feet and headed into the kitchen to cover up the food to save in the fridge. He arched a brow as he passed his younger friend, and he could see that the boy was visibly upset. He had to smile a little - Goku was an open book, even when he tried to hide his feelings. "Yes, I suppose you do have something for later on," he agreed as he began wrapping the bowls with plastic. "What did Sanzo have to say?" he asked.

"N-nothing," Goku replied a little too quickly, and bowing his head as he felt his eyes start to water again, he moved as if to sidestep the healer.

Hakkai was faster, however, and he managed to position himself between the shorter brunette and the doorway. Gently, he grasped the teen's chin, and despite the initial resistance he got, he did manage to tip his face upwards so that he could look him in the eye. "I would hardly say it was 'nothing', Goku," he replied. "Especially considering the thought and effort you put into choosing these particular dishes."

"It's just a stupid dinner," Goku muttered as he squeezed his eyes closed and attempted to jerk his chin away, though Hakkai's hold was deceptively strong despite the seeming gentleness of it. He could _feel_ those intense green eyes on him, and he heard the kappa get up from in front of the television and head for the fridge, and he knew that neither of them were buying it. "I-I don't want to talk about it," he said finally as he opened his eyes and looked almost plaintively at the other two males. "Gojyo'll just make fun of me for it."

"No, but I will go kick Buddha's ass if he's been a dick to you," the redhead replied hotly, turning on his heel as if to go do just that.

"Gojyo, please!" the healer said in exasperation as he held up a hand to stop the hanyou. "That won't solve anything now, will it?" He turned to Goku again, and with some prodding, he eventually managed to get the story out of the cinnamon-haired teen. Despite the small, angry flame that flickered inside of him, Hakkai's expression was very soft as he gently brushed his thumb under Goku's eye to collect the moisture that had gathered there. He released his hold on Goku's chin, and then stepped back from him to reach for his wallet. He pulled out a handful of bills and passed them to Gojyo. "Why don't you and Goku head down to the restaurant? I saw someone just yesterday who had the most delicious looking banana split sundae. My treat."

Goku's eyes widened slightly, and he did smile some in anticipation, though he cocked his head to the side a moment later and looked at the brunette. "But, what about you?" he asked the healer. "You're not coming?"

Hakkai laughed softly, and though his smile widened some, his eyes flashed darkly. "Oh...I'll catch up to you in a little while," he said as he ran a hand through his fringe of bangs, and he glanced briefly in the direction of Sanzo's door. "I just have a few things here I need to clean up first." He met Gojyo's eyes and gave him a look that suggested he keep the teen occupied for a while.

Goku, this time, was not fooled. "Hakkai, you're not going to do anything to Sanzo, are you?" he asked, obviously concerned for the priest despite the lingering ache he felt in his heart.

"Don't be stupid, Monkey," Gojyo said as he pocketed the cash and then draped an arm over the teen's shoulders. "You heard Hakkai just now, didn't you? He said that sort of thing wouldn't solve anything. So come on," he pushed as he started to lead the smaller brunette towards the door. "Ice cream's waiting, and I'm in the mood for something sweet."

"I...yeah, I guess so," Goku replied after a moment, and brightening slightly, he said, "So, see you soon, then!"

"Mmhmm," Hakkai murmured absently, his gaze focused on the closed door and the curmudgeonly bear that lurked just behind it. He waited until his two friends had left, and then he made his way over to their gear and retrieved a package of cigarettes for the blonde. Moments later, he knocked lightly on the priest's door and then stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind him. As soon as the warm and comforting light from the common area was gone, Hakkai had to fight to repress his shudder. Like Sanzo, he loathed the rain; however, unlike his friend, he'd found ways to cope with it to where he could be functional so long as he had other things to keep his mind focused on. But now, in the dark and isolation, those negative feelings were hitting him hard, and he found it was affecting his frame of mind and making him wanting to withdraw in on himself the way Sanzo had.

He forced his attention to the other man, and he wasn't surprised to find himself staring down the business end of the Smith and Wesson. It was hardly a unique position for _any_ of them to be in, and even more commonplace when Sanzo was in one of his moods. He didn't say anything right away; he just arched a brow and then held the pack of cigarettes up in front of him between his middle and index fingers.

The priest didn't lower his weapon, though he did extend his other hand. "So the chimp _did_ pass on the message. Still, never thought it would be _you_ 'indulging my habit'." He snorted. "Took you long enough; hand them over."

"No." The corners of Hakkai's mouth turned up just a little, though his eyes narrowed slightly as he continued to stare down the blonde. Without breaking his gaze, he set the pack on the small table. "When Goku told me what had happened in here, I had half a mind to make you come out and get them yourself. Then I remembered that you'd sooner suffer, and become even more cantankerous, than bother with us. And after talking to Goku, I realized that this sulking of yours has gone on more than long enough - you've progressed past general crankiness to the point of being downright cruel."

Sanzo snorted. "If you're looking for me to apologize, you're going to be waiting a long time. I never once claimed to be _nice_ , and I told all of you to stay the fuck away from me. I'm not going to coddle that damned monkey, so if you want to play nursemaid, then be my guest."

Hakkai forced a laugh. "It's not that Goku needs coddling, Sanzo, but you know how he feels about you - you're the one who gave him back his life, so to speak, and he'd move heaven and hell for you if you asked him to. He thought long and hard about what to bring you tonight - and he even gave you his 'best meat bun', because he wanted _you_ to have it. And for you to say what you did, you've made him doubt his worth to you."

"It's none of your fucking business, Hakkai!" Sanzo snapped, his mouth curving down into a scowl. "And I don't give a shit what he did or how he feels. If he's too stupid to follow my instructions, then it's not my problem what happens to him when he keeps pushing. Now give me my fucking cigarettes before I shoot you."

"You're welcome to try," Hakkai replied, his voice deadly serious. "And if you want them that badly, then come and get them. I'm not through discussing this with you. I -" He cut himself off, his eyes widening slightly as he threw up a chi barrier to deflect the round that was fired at him. A coldness settled in his eyes as four more rounds followed in rapid succession. "Feel better now?" he asked tartly as he lowered his shield, knowing that the other was out of ammunition. "And it _is_ my business. The way this group functions as a whole has a direct impact on my potential well-being, so let's say I have a vested interest in keeping things together. Not to mention, I consider Goku a dear friend - as I do you."

"Bastard," Sanzo growled, pointedly ignoring the other's acerbic remarks. He got to his feet and stormed across the room, hastily snatching the pack of Marlboros as though he expected Hakkai to stop him. He looked away long enough to shake one out of the pack, and after he'd lit it, he scowled up at the brunette. "You've said your piece, _Sensei_. You can leave now."

"Will you talk to Goku?"

"Like hell."

Hakkai sighed impatiently and pressed his lips together into a thin line. "Why do you fight this so hard?" he asked in exasperation. "Whether you like it or not, we're your family, Sanzo. We care about you because we care about your well-being and happiness!"

"Yeah, well I never asked you to care!" the blonde retorted hotly. "I don't need or want any of you - and sure as shit not as my family! I'm perfectly content as I am."

Hakkai shook his head slowly. "You're delusional. You may fool Goku and Gojyo with talk like that, but you've never been any good at lying to me. You never look me in the eyes when you do." This whole situation was ridiculous, and he blamed himself in part for allowing the charade to continue as long as it had. "Do you not remember what happened the last time you hurt Goku? Homura nearly got him. Fortunately, Gojyo's with him now so at least he won't run off and do anything foolish." He smirked a little when he saw the priest tense slightly and take an irritated drag off of his cigarette. "Don't tell me that didn't bother you, because we both know that's not true."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," Sanzo replied tersely. "Goku would never have gone with him - he's got it good here. And even if he had, between his whining for food and his never-ending jabbering, Homura'd have brought him back before too long."

Hakkai's scowl deepened. "I'd always believed you to be reasonable, Sanzo. But sometimes, you can be a complete idiot about things." Brilliant green eyes locked with violet, and he said seriously, "You certainly don't make it easy for others to care about you given the fact that you treat those closest to you worse than you do your enemies. You'd be wise to re-examine your thinking and let _somebody_ love you before it's too late."

Sanzo actually laughed at that. "Right. And just who would that _somebody_ be, hmm? Gojyo? Goku?" He snorted as he took a final drag off his cigarette, and he threw the butt into an empty beer can that had somehow been missed earlier. A slight sneer curved his lips upwards. "You?" The cold smile broadened when he saw the other's eyes widen and a hint of colour flash across the pale cheeks. "Sure, Hakkai. You talk a good game, but you're just as much of an emotional reject as I am. And who's calling who delusional? Tch, what the hell do you know about it anyway? You've only ever loved your _sister_ , and that love didn't conquer all, did it? Hell, you couldn't even save her - how the fuck would you ever save me?"

Hakkai's mouth dropped open slightly as he listened to the blonde's cruel diatribe. In all the years he'd known Sanzo, the priest had never commented on or judged him for his past, but hearing it laid out so callously before him hit him hard. His entire body went momentarily numb, and he found himself at a total loss for something to say. Hakkai _knew_ his words had struck a chord with the priest. Sanzo was running on emotions, and was saying things he didn't _truly_ mean in an attempt to push him away. The logical, rational part of his mind reminded him that this wasn't something unusual - he'd seen it countless times before. Then his anger caught up to him. Before Sanzo could think, let alone react, Hakkai had grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and had slammed him up against the wall, just holding him there as those intense green eyes seemed to bore right through him. "If there's something more you wish to say to me on _that_ particular subject, or something you're implying, then please say it," he said, his voice coolly polite with a brusque edge to it.

The violet widened at the brunette's reaction - it was the first time he'd used Hakkai's past against him, and in hindsight, he realized his mistake. As he felt his back hit hard against the plaster, he was once again reminded of just how strong the youkai really was and how dangerous he could be as an opponent. He struggled a little against that grip, and a slight spike of fear ran through him when he saw those angry eyes. He wondered if that was the look all those demons had witnessed years ago when Hakkai had set off to find Kanan. "I've got nothing to say," he managed to bluster out, adding a quickly growled, "And you'd better let me go you bastard before I kick your ass into next week."

"I thought as much," Hakkai said crossly. "Though I'd say you owe me an apology before I start to think that you truly do view me as some sort of deviant, twisted monster - contrary to what you've told me all these years." He snorted softly. "And as I told you before, you're welcome to try if you'd like, but I hardly think you're in any sort of position to be demanding anything of me, Sanzo." A low growl sounded in his throat when he felt the blonde struggle against him again, and when the other tried to kick him, he deftly grabbed the priest's wrists and held them up beside his head, his hip pressing against the monk's body to hold him still.

Sanzo felt a small jolt run through him when he was grabbed, and as he was pinned, he was horrified to feel himself growing hard. _It's just the stress of the situation,_ he rationalized, even as he struggled in earnest. _It has **nothing** at all to do with him being right, and me wanting to...ah, **damn it**..._ He stopped resisting and his eyes fell closed, his head bowing forward slightly. He thought about what Hakkai had said to him, and a frown creased his forehead. If he was _truly_ honest with himself, it wasn't so much the healer's words that had pissed him off. It was the fact that he was right. Not that he was about to admit that.

A flash of lightning split the sky then, fully illuminating Hakkai's face. Despite its brevity, the image presented was burned into Sanzo's memory - the eerily pretty visage made all the more attractive by the one flawed eye, the slender form, lithe and agile and deceptively deadly, the downturned mouth that could just as easily offer comfort as it could sharply condemn. But it was Hakkai's eyes - simultaneously gentle and dark - that most affected him then. They'd always been able to see what he tried to keep locked away, and even now, Sanzo found he couldn't hold the other's gaze lest the brunette see more than he wanted him to. There was another burst of lighting, and Sanzo's breath caught briefly in his throat. Hakkai looked like a fallen angel, both beautiful and terrifying, and whether it was the rain or something else, Sanzo groaned softly as he felt a wanton pulse in his groin. It was mortifying, to be sure, but for once, the blonde didn't try to ignore his feelings. And he found it wasn't entirely bad. Suddenly, Sanzo started to laugh. The sound was low at first, but gradually grew louder, and as he watched the brunette's expression morph from anger to confusion, he laughed even harder. The irony was too perfect. Only he, a fucked up emotional reject of a priest, would seek salvation in the arms of the equally damned. After all, like sought like, and who better would understand him?

Hakkai was clearly perplexed by the blonde's sudden shift in demeanour, his anger ebbing away in light of the priest's laughter. "S-Sanzo?" His brow furrowed slightly and he relaxed his hold. "I-I fail to see what's so funny."

"You," the blonde replied, and though he sobered some, he still wore a sardonic smirk on his face. "Us. The fucking rain. Everything." When he saw the arch of an elegant eyebrow, his smirk widened some and he said, "You're a real piece of work, you know that, Hakkai? You talk about _me_ being cranky, but I think _you're_ the one with the anger management issues."

The brunette frowned a little, still not quite sure where the priest was going with this. "I really don't think -"

"No, you don't," the blonde interrupted, essentially speaking over top of the other and cutting him off. "For a genius, you can be a complete idiot sometimes." He smirked again when he saw a glimmer of recognition in the green eyes at his comment, and after quickly jerking his hands free from Hakkai's grasp, he gave the youkai a slight shove away from him. "It's true. That temper of yours makes you quite unreasonable. _Especially_ when it rains. I'd even go so far as to say you're worse than me."

When he was pushed, Hakkai backed up a couple of steps, and then stopped, a hint of a smile tugging up the corners of his own mouth. So the blonde _had_ been listening to him after all, and in his own way, was now willing to discuss things. "Oh, I see. I had no idea." He was quiet for a moment, his eyes slightly downcast as he contemplated the priest's words. "Then what do you suggest I do about it?" he asked, his eyes flicking up to meet and hold the violet. "I'd hate to think my behaviour has been causing you unnecessary stress."

"It has. But then, you've always been kind of a selfish prick that way." Sanzo pushed himself off of the wall and took a couple of steps towards Hakkai, stopping when they were about arm's distance apart. "You know, you really should get your head out of your ass and let somebody love you before it's too late. Fuck knows you're in for a lonely road ahead if you don't."

Hakkai arched a brow at that, and then his eyes lidded slightly as a demure smile crept across his face. "Hm. And who should that somebody be, Sanzo? You? Given my extreme personality and emotional instability, I can be quite difficult to handle. Especially when it's raining." The smile widened a little. "It certainly wouldn't be easy and I'd probably be quite frustrating on the best of days."

"Yeah, well, I'm here, aren't I? And I can't have you causing all kinds of shit on this mission with your attitude. Besides, I've never run from a challenge." The blonde smirked. "Some might even call me fucking masochistic at times."

Hakkai laughed softly at that. "Ah, I see. So it's about convenience and obligation, is it?"

The question made Sanzo pause, and he once again met Hakkai's eyes. "Maybe convenience in part, but maybe I just want to." He could feel a bit of heat creeping into his cheeks at the admission, and to draw attention away from himself, he gave Hakkai another push - this time, towards the bed. "Maybe I want to see if I can _save you_." He emphasized the words with another shove, and he smirked when Hakkai hit the edge of the mattress and lost his balance.

Hakkai's eyes widened slightly as he stumbled, though he did have the foresight to grab the front of the priest's shirt and pull him down with him, loosing a soft grunt when the blonde landed forcibly on him. "Hn." He smiled up at the other man. "Then save me. From myself." Slender fingers threaded into the fair tresses and Hakkai tugged the blonde down for a kiss, hesitating for a fraction of a second before their lips met.

Sanzo's breath caught when he was grabbed, and he tensed for a moment when he felt Hakkai's mouth on his. He briefly debated pulling away - it had been a game between them, one he hadn't expected the brunette to play back, and now, he felt trapped. Still, despite the fact that the demon had been the one to initiate the kiss, he wasn't _controlling_ it. The hand tangled in his hair was there purely for show; Sanzo was the one in charge of what happened. He gradually relaxed against the body beneath him, his own hands forcefully twining in the dark locks when he felt the deceptively gentle press of teeth against his lower lip. The gesture touched off a spark somewhere deep inside of him, and with a muttered curse, he deepened the kiss, his tongue pressing hungrily inside Hakkai's mouth. It wasn't enough for him to dominate the kiss; he wanted to possess and to claim, all his feelings of inadequacy and failure rising to the surface as he sought to completely consume the brunette, to make him a part of himself. As he kissed him, he felt a sense of urgency inside of him and he realized that he _needed_ Hakkai, as much as he needed food and water. It made him feel pathetic and weak for having succumbed, but he didn't dare stop now, lest he wake up to find it all just another hallucination brought on by the damned rain.

He pulled away from the kiss with a slightly breathless gasp, and then his fingers tightened against Hakkai's scalp as he forcefully tipped the other's head back so that he could lick and suck along his collarbone. Damn it if Hakkai didn't taste like chocolate, dark and exotic, and as he nipped at the pale flesh beneath his teeth to mark him, he caught the scent of satsuma and sandalwood on the brunette's skin. "Fuck..." He reclaimed the other's mouth in a punishing kiss, his cock pulsing painfully in his jeans as he left the youkai's lips slightly bruised and swollen. He ground his hips down against the brunette's, a pleased growl slipping past his lips when he felt a similar hardness against him. "Undress," he commanded, and then sat back a little to give Hakkai room to move. He tugged off his own robes and tossed them to the floor, his shirt joining them a moment later followed by his gloves. Then, he waited, sitting back on his heels and watching the other.

Hakkai arched a brow at the order, and a slow smile spread across his face as he licked his lower lip. He could taste blood - his own - and his smile widened. Not saying anything, he sat up long enough to divest himself of his long-sleeved black t-shirt, and after getting his belt buckle unfastened, he unzipped his pants and lithely slipped them over his hips and off his body. He held the garments in his hand for a moment, and then holding the violet gaze, he let them crumple soundlessly to the floor without folding them - the gesture signifying to Sanzo that yes, he was in charge and the brunette would do as he'd been told.

Sanzo's eyes darkened at the display, his lids falling slightly as he let his gaze travel over the other's naked body. He didn't for one moment delude himself into believing that Hakkai was powerless beneath him - he knew full-well that everything that was happening was only because the demon was permitting it. "Hn. Good." He reached out a hand as if to touch the bare flesh, only to draw it back a moment later before he slipped off the bed. He padded over to his gear and crouched down to retrieve a bottle of lotion from his belongings. For several moments, he simply held the bottle in his hand, occasionally sparing a glance to the supine form on his bed. Idly, he wondered how they'd gone from shouting at each other to this, and he frowned a little as he thought back on their conversation. A smile briefly ghosted across his features when he remembered the hint of a blush he'd seen on Hakkai's cheeks, and the way he himself had reacted, and he shook his head in amusement. It was fucked up, sure, but it was something they both seemed to need and want, and it was logical.

Returning to the bedside, he tossed the bottle to Hakkai, and when the other had caught it, he stripped off his jeans and joined the other. Taking the lotion back, he put a generous amount on his fingertips before sliding two digits into the searing heat of the brunette's body. As he scissored and stretched the other, his lips found purchase on the healer's scar, and he was quite pleased by the reaction he got when he trailed his tongue along the sensitive skin. Encouraged by the soft moans, he repeated the gesture, continuing to tease the other until he'd worked three fingers inside of the demon's body, the heat of the brunette's cock against his cheek leaving him feeling slightly dizzy and achingly hard. Withdrawing, he shifted to where he was kneeling between Hakkai's thighs, and he added a thick coating of lotion to his throbbing dick. His body twitched in anticipation as he looked down at the healer's flushed cheeks and parted lips, and with a libidinous growl, he lined himself up and thrust in balls deep in one fluid stroke.

If the rough entry had hurt Hakkai, he didn't show it. Instead, his eyes fell closed and he let out a dark sounding purr, his body arching slightly from the bed to accommodate Sanzo's length. As the blonde began to move, his arms and legs wrapped around the priest's slender form, holding him tight and drawing him in deeper. He loosed a wanton moan as a particularly well-placed thrust nudged his prostate, sending a jolt of pleasure through him, and the only thing he said was a breathily rasped, "Please..."

Sanzo merely grunted in acknowledgement, though he did push Hakkai's legs up more towards his chest, his cock now slamming forcefully against the brunette's ass as they fucked hard and fast. It wasn't tender, but it was needy, each of them relying on the other as an outlet to release the darkness they harboured within them. After Hakkai's plea, no other words were spoken between them. There was just their harsh breathing, the soft slap of skin on skin, and the rain beating down against the glass. It was the blonde who hit his peak first. It had started out as a slow burn low in his belly, gradually radiating out to his extremities and growing in intensity until his orgasm tore through him, and with a growl that _might_ have been Hakkai's name, he came, his hips jerking spastically as he pulsed his release into the pliant body beneath him.

The brunette followed not long after with a shuddered gasp and a tightening of his hold on Sanzo as his head fell back against the pillow. His lips drawn back slightly in a pleasured grimace, his body arched upwards as he came, his nails rasping slowly across the blonde's shoulders to leave a series of eight long red welts in their wake. It didn't take him long to recover, and as his limbs fell bonelessly to the mattress, he caught the brief moment of unguarded tranquility in the violet eyes, and he offered the priest a small grin.

Sanzo didn't return the smile, and though his expression remained relaxed, it wasn't long before the walls were up once again. Not speaking, he gently eased his spent cock from Hakkai's body, and then dropped down beside him, turning enough so that he could see the brunette's face. When his breathing and heart rate had once again returned to normal, he pushed himself up a little, using the flashes of lightning to look around the room.

"They're by the door," Hakkai said finally, and he laughed softly when he saw the curious arch of a brow. "Your cigarettes. That is what you're looking for, ne? You, um...dropped them there earlier."

"Hn." With a slight grunt, the blonde hefted himself out of the bed and padded over to where Hakkai had directed him. After he had lit one and taken a drag, he held the stick between his teeth as he rummaged around in the dark, and then made his way over to the window. He opened it up and stuck his hand outside for a few moments, and after a couple more puffs, he tossed the remains of his cigarette outside and locked down the sash. He sat down wordlessly on the edge of the mattress, and a moment later, something cold and wet plopped across the brunette's abdomen.

Hakkai let out a slight yelp from the cold shock, though his expression softened when he saw that it was a towel - one that the blonde had wetted at the window while he'd smoked. He was touched by the gesture, and he gave himself a quick, but thorough, wipe down before he handed it back to the priest. He chuckled softly as Sanzo, in turn, gave himself a cursory swab then tossed it to the floor. Several moments passed between them in silence, though when the brunette moved to get up, he was held by a rather insistent hand on his wrist. "Sanzo?"

"Stay."

"But I thought -"

"Stay," he repeated, a little more insistently this time, and when he felt the healer relax back against the mattress, he shifted so that he was lying down on his side next to him. For a long time, violet eyes carefully studied the other man, and after a while, Sanzo reached out a hand and sifted his fingers through the long fringe of dark bangs - just once - before dropping his arm back to his side.

"Do you feel better?" Hakkai asked after a moment, and when he got an affirmative sounding grunt in return, he laughed softly. "Good. Your aura feels calmer, too. Not quite so agitated."

That drew an amused snort from the blonde. "Like you're one to fucking talk about that."

The brunette laughed again. "No, you're right." He folded his hands together on his belly and watched the lightning flicker across the ceiling. Slowly, a smirk crept across his face. "Though, had I known it would be that effective, I'd probably have suggested it a long time ago."

"Tch. If you'd suggested it a long time ago, I'd have shot your ass like I did that pervy kappa's." Sanzo was quiet for a moment. "But, I wouldn't mind doing it again," he muttered lowly before dropping onto his back so he wouldn't have to look at the demon.

Hakkai's smirk morphed into a genuine smile on hearing that, and he felt a bit of heat flood his cheeks at the other's comment. Despite the offhanded way in which it had been delivered, he knew what the blonde had meant. "You're such a sweet-talker, Sanzo."

"Idiot." The slur lacked any real vehemence, and the priest did smirk a bit. He'd known Hakkai would understand, just as he'd known he wouldn't gush and make a big deal about it. It was comforting. "You know I don't do flowers and romance and all that other bullshit, right? Hell, I'm barely tolerable to be around at the best of times."

Hakkai laughed softly, still gazing at the ceiling. "I know you don't. And that's alright. At this point, I think I'm past such symbolic idealism anyway." He turned his head a little so that he could look at the blonde. "We're both broken, Sanzo. Our hearts and our souls have been irreparably shattered. But maybe between us, there are enough fragments to share so that we can exist comfortably. Dare I suggest happily, even?"

The priest thought about that for a while. Their relationship, if one could truly call it that, was definitely twisted, but there was no doubt in his mind that they truly cared for each other in a way that only the two of them could understand. Perhaps more than cared, even. And the more he reflected on that, the more Sanzo found he was ok with that, and with letting the healer get _a little bit_ closer. Besides, Hakkai was the only one who really ever called him on his bullshit, and as loathe as he was to admit it, he knew he needed someone like that in his life to kick his ass when he was being a dick. He snorted in amusement, and then muttered, "You really are a fucking masochist, you know."

Hakkai grinned. "Ah, perhaps a little. I think it might be a prerequisite to being a friend of yours." He laughed at the contemptuous snort he earned for his remark, and then he sat up and reached for his clothes.

"You're leaving?"

"For now. I told you before, Gojyo's with Goku; they went for ice cream. I told them I'd join them, and if I don't, you know as well as I do the first place they're going to come looking."

"Fuck, go. The last thing I want is the monkey and the kappa banging on my door."

"You could always come join us?" Hakkai offered.

"Not."

"If you came out into the light once in a while, you might find that the rain is at least bearable."

"I'm doing just fine right where I am."

Hakkai looked like he was ready to argue, then he sighed softly. "Alright, Sanzo." He straightened his clothes and gave the blonde an affectionate smile. "I'll come check on you when we're back."

"You do that." Sanzo reached for his cigarettes again as he watched the brunette leave, and as soon as the door closed behind him, he felt the cold darkness once again start to seep into his soul. Drawing his knees up in front of him, he let his one hand trail to the place the youkai had recently vacated. It was still warm to the touch, and if he thought about it, he could smell the faint trace of sandalwood and satsuma in the air. "Fuck," he muttered aloud, and his eyes shifted to the doorway. What the hell did it say about him that his light could be found in a creature as dark as Hakkai? Still, he supposed that even the shadows had varying degrees of opacity, depending on their surroundings. "Shit..." Stabbing out the filter, he reached for his shirt.

Hakkai had waited in the common room after he'd left Sanzo, and when several minutes had passed without any sign of the priest, he'd swallowed his disappointment and headed downstairs to find his friends. As he reached the restaurant, he could see several empty banana split dishes already stacked in front of Goku, and the waitress was currently setting another laden one before the teen. "Well now," he greeted as he took a vacant seat. "You certainly seem to be enjoying yourself."

"Yeah!" Goku replied. "Thanks again, Hakkai! These are yummy!" His golden eyes lit up and he attacked the dessert with considerable gusto, though he paused after a few bites to give the healer a worried look. "Is everything ok?"

Hakkai took a moment to order a strawberry sundae, and then he gave the younger brunette a soft smile. "Sanzo's fine," he said, answering the other's unasked question. "We talked for a bit, and he does feel a little bit better. He may join us later."

"Bullshit," Gojyo interjected, and then he shovelled a large spoonful of his turtle sundae into his mouth. "Mr. Pissy-pants is probably pouting up in his room even as we speak. Sucks to be him, though; he doesn't know what he's missing down here. Oh well, more for us." He opened his mouth to take another bite, only to have the ice cream plop onto the floor when a sharp cuff to the back of his head caused him to erratically jerk the spoon. "The hell?" Turning around in his chair and ready to give whoever a piece of his mind, he found himself face to face with Sanzo.

"You want to say that again?" the blonde demanded as he glowered at the redhead.

"You owe me another sundae - that was the best part right there."

"Bite me. If it's that good, then a roach like you should have no qualms about eating it off the floor." He smirked a little when Gojyo flipped him off, and then he brushed past him to where Goku stood. After ordering a 'black and tan' sundae from their waitress, he just stood there, staring down at the teen. "Hakkai told me the ice cream here is pretty good," he said finally.

"Uh, yeah, it is," Goku replied, and after another moment of awkward silence, he shrank down a little in his chair and blurted out, "I'm sorry for being such an idiot! I promise I won't bug you ever again about stuff or try to take care of you anymore!"

"Tch." The blonde raised a hand, and he saw Goku wince slightly, though after a moment's hesitation, he buried his fingers in the thick, cinnamon tresses. "Don't be stupid," he said gruffly. "You could no more keep that promise than you could stop eating. But sometimes..." He trailed off and glanced over at Hakkai, and the corners of his mouth turned up briefly. "Sometimes, I think it might be ok."

"Really?" Golden eyes shone with happiness on hearing that. "We saved your dinner from before! I can heat it up for you when we go back!"

"Don't push your luck, Monkey," Sanzo replied as he took the vacant chair at the table when his ice cream was served, and he glanced sidelong at Hakkai when he heard the youkai snicker softly. "And not a god damned word from you, either," he added as he picked up his spoon.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Sanzo," the green-eyed brunette replied with a chuckle as he licked a bit of whipped cream from the tip of his own utensil.

"Good. I think you've said more than enough already today." He made sure he got some of both the chocolate and caramel on his spoon, and as he ate the bite, he smiled to himself. Truth be told, he was actually looking forward to hearing more.


End file.
